I have a new hat. I don't need your kodak imitation anymore. My hat is made of turkle far. I mean, turtle fur. Sky blue turtle fur. $8.75 in a book shop which carried books and also sky blue turtle fur. The sky blue turtle is a shy and reclusive animal which lives in the grottos underneath the island of San Torini, off the coast of Greece. It feeds on calamari and red wine, pilfered from the natives. Additionally, sky blue turtles are partial to japanese novels, ping-pong and deep-sea diving. Sky blue turtles have fuzzy and water-resistant sky blue fur which encases their shell in the cold winter months, and is promptly shed in the third week of March every year- this is because the sky blue turtles are very precise. At this particular time, enterprising fur franchisers spend the hours between dusk and dawn collecting and correctly storing this valuable and rare commodity in ice chests, shipped immediately on ocean liners (in first class, of course) to New York. From there the fur is distributed to book shop across America. Since the fur encased a shell, it falls of the sky blue turtle in one piece, with an opening in one end of the casing. It is shaped much like a hat.